Boundaries to Set in Big Transitions

Having boundaries in all aspects of our lives can make our experiences more pleasant and allow us to feel more comfortable and at ease. Whilst necessary boundaries can be tricky to identify and put in place, it’s a worthwhile and valuable exercise.

A boundary I've personally struggled with is how I spend my time. However, it hasn’t quite been in the way you may think. I’ve always been quite an organised person. Having a clear plan makes me feel in control and puts me at ease. Last year, I completed my final year of high school. It is notorious for being the year where everything is on top of each other, time is limited, and stress levels are very high. But sometimes, I found myself with some free time due to the way I worked my schedule. When I used that time to rest or do something other than schoolwork, I’d feel guilty and that I wasn’t working hard enough. The fact that the media tends to glorify the ‘workaholic’ mentality didn’t help. I had to work hard to change my mindset and allow myself the space for rest.

“The biggest lesson I’ve had to learn is that comparing myself and the way I work to other people is not helpful or healthy. Also, it’s exhausting!”

I thought that this year, starting university and a new phase of my life, things would be different. But it’s easy to slip back into old habits and unhealthy mindsets. Living in a university residence means I’m constantly surrounded by my classmates. Whilst we don’t always work together, we do see each other often enough. When I hear everyone talk about how many hours they’ve been working for, it feels like I should be doing the same. The biggest lesson I’ve had to learn is that comparing myself and the way I work to other people is not helpful or healthy. Also, it’s exhausting! I realized I needed to set some boundaries and gave myself time limits (for example, trying to be in bed by 23h30, even if some of my friends were still up studying). I also gave myself some space from my classmates and learnt to say no to working in groups if I felt it wasn’t going to be beneficial to me and would just cause me more stress. And whilst it was an uncomfortable learning curve to go through, I’m better off now that I’m learning what works for me and where I need to give myself some space.

Learning to manage your time can be a slow and tricky process. But it’s also a necessary and worthwhile one that will allow you more freedom and flexibility in the long run.

Nabeela Parkar is one of our monthly Comeback writers. She has a keen interest in writing and would be more than happy to read her way through an entire library. She enjoys being challenged and facing tasks that require her to think for a little longer. She is fascinated by maths and science and also have a deep appreciation for the ocean, mountains and the natural world at large. She is currently in her last year of school and is on the path of deciding what to do with her life as of next year. She’s an avid believer that whilst everything happens for a reason, taking action towards achieving your goals and dreams is key.