Lessons in Uncertainty

They say the only certainty in life is death and taxes. Going through periods of transition and uncertainty is something everyone will experience at some point. It doesn’t always feel comfortable at the time, and it’s not meant to be. Change pushes us out of our comfort zones and keeps us on our toes. It makes life interesting, challenging and rewarding.

I’ve always been a creature of habit. I find solace in routine and structure and when it feels like this has been pulled from under me, I find myself feeling restless and anxious. When I go through a transition I have time to prepare for, I handle it well. However, when a more sudden, unexpected change happens, it can be difficult for me to handle.

“Habits and comfort zones take a long time to form. So it’s unrealistic to expect yourself to feel settled and at ease immediately after you’ve undergone a big change in your life.”

Something I’ve found immense value in, is learning to let go of the things that are out of my control. I’m learning that worrying about what is out of my hands is an exercise in futility. Instead, when I find myself in stressful periods of change, I try my best to devote my energy to tasks that can make things easier and lighten the load. Something I hold onto even during times of change is routine, to maintain some semblance of order in my life. It both grounds me and keeps me afloat. It feels like a little beacon of normalcy in a sea of uncertainty.

Another thing I’ve had to learn is that things take time and patience is key. Habits and comfort zones take a long time to form. So it's unrealistic to expect yourself to feel settled and at ease immediately after you’ve undergone a big change in your life. Take each day as it comes and find joy in the opportunity to rebuild routines and habits. You can also use the opportunity to be more intentional about the things you do, and not just do them for the sake of it.

“ By telling yourself over and over again that you cannot cope with change, you’re feeding into your mind’s idea that you are unadaptable.”

I also try to look forward. Instead of berating on what could’ve been if I made different choices, I’m learning to respect the choices I’ve made, make peace with what I’m leaving behind and look forward to what’s to come. No matter what path you choose to follow in life, there will be obstacles. It’s normal. I’m trying to teach myself not to be bitter about them or think that they could’ve been avoided if I made different decisions.

Something I've learnt over the past 2 or 3 years, is that I don’t give myself enough credit. As humans, we tend to downplay or underestimate our abilities to adapt and change. By telling yourself over and over again that you cannot cope with change, you’re feeding into your mind’s idea that you are unadaptable. But by being more mindful of this, you can help to reduce the negative ideas that you feed yourself.

Nabeela Parkar is one of our monthly Comeback writers. She has a keen interest in writing and would be more than happy to read her way through an entire library. She enjoys being challenged and facing tasks that require her to think for a little longer. She is fascinated by maths and science and also have a deep appreciation for the ocean, mountains and the natural world at large. She is currently in her last year of school and is on the path of deciding what to do with her life as of next year. She’s an avid believer that whilst everything happens for a reason, taking action towards achieving your goals and dreams is key.