Have you started any new habits?
When I came home and started quarantine, I decided to also start all the habits I’ve been thinking about, all at once. In the midst of all the uncertainty, I started flossing, exercising, and intermittent fasting. I downloaded new apps to keep me on track and set rewards for arbitrary milestones. I kept thinking, why not? It’s no big deal.
It’s only after two months, and a little bit of reflection, that I realized these new habits were in fact, a big deal. These habits, while small, created structure in my new and open days. They made my morning and evening routines a bit longer and gave me something to do when I was bored. All the apps and trackers gave me something to think about, too.
This structure and routine has given me some sense of control in these uncertain times. It’s also given me a distraction of the parts I can’t control. If I’m not doing one of my habits, I might be working. But I also might be thinking about how odd it is to be where I am, taking college classes from my childhood room and having no idea if the choices I’ve made in this pandemic were the right ones. What’s crazy is that while these are stressful times, I’ve only been able to maintain so many new habits because I’m less stressed than I was before.
“More importantly, I hope to leave with the knowledge that there is actually a lot in my life that I can control.”
I asked myself why I didn’t start any of these habits while at school. Something about being on campus made me feel busy, running around from place to place every day. When it came to habits, it was my opportunity to take a break and go on autopilot. My mind was always distracted by unfinished tasks or unresolved problems. Now, with so many plans up in the air, I can only take things day by day, one thing at a time. While there’s still a constant undercurrent of anxiety, I find myself with less superficial stress. I am left with some extra space to think about taking care of myself again, a little at a time.
Part of me believes that our lives will never go back to the way it was. Working from home will be the new norm where it can and healthcare might look a little different. Even so, I know that it won’t be like this forever. I hope to leave this period with newly cemented habits and the same reduced levels of stress. More importantly, I hope to leave with the knowledge that there is actually a lot in my life that I can control. And if I want, I can make a difference in my emotional and physical health, quarantined or not.
